Politixia
80 for Brady (M, 98 mins) Directed by Kyle Marvin ***½
There were five women, not four.
They didn’t live in Boston – home of the New England Patriots – and they didn’t travel to Houston to watch the 51st Super Bowl. Neither did they meet superstar quarterback Tom Brady, pose as dancers for Lady Gaga, or enter a chilli sauce-eating competition. All of that is entirely made up.
But, being able to write “based on a true story” on a poster is still a reliable way of selling a few more seats. And in the case of 80 for Brady, I’m mostly inclined to say “good luck to them”.
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80 for Brady stars Lily Tomlin, Jane Fonda, Rita Moreno and Sally Field as retired women who have discovered a new purpose in life, as born again PatsFans. They discovered their love for the game when a fresh-faced and exceedingly pretty young quarterback joined the franchise in 2001.
Tom Brady was famously the 199th draft pick. His college stats were nothing special and he was regarded as a potential reserve player at best.
Over the next 19 seasons, Brady led the Pats to six Super Bowl titles and every record a team can hold. He is also regarded as the greatest come-back artist in American football. Brady has engineered more come-from-behind victories than any player has – or probably ever will
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Yes, 80 For Brady is contrived, but in a way that suggests everyone knew it just didn’t matter.
80 for Brady assumes you know all this. But if you don’t, it won’t spoil your enjoyment. Any Given Sunday, this ain’t.
The women secure tickets and make their way to Texas, where 80 for Brady becomes that perennial staple of low-brow comedies; old-people-do-things-that-usually-only-younger-people-do.
In the case of 80 for Brady, that means a bit of dancing, a bit of flirting, some accidental edible -THC consumption and a lot of impressing-the-kids with how sassy and full of life these OAPs can still be.
80 for Brady is contrived, but in a way that suggests everyone knew it just didn’t matter.
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Even the real Tom Brady shows up in 80 for Brady.
By the time Tomlin was giving Brady an inspirational half-time speech from a seat in the coaches’ box, I was actually expecting an editor’s cut to her waking up in bed, with an “it was all a dream” card being played by the writers. But, no. 80 for Brady is here to push our credulity till it snaps – and then to just keep on pushing.
And yet, with the immensely likeable Tomlin, Field and Moreno anchoring the story, 80 For Brady finds a way through the contrivances that made me smile more than wince, most of the time.
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Jane Fonda, Sally Field, Lily Tomlin and Rita Moreno team-up for 80 for Brady.
First time feature director Kyle Marvin (he co-wrote and starred in The Climb, which is a terrific film) seems to have told the trio to play it relatively subdued, while only Fonda is allowed to go full parody. It’s an approach that lets Marvin brush over some of the most glaring ludicrousnesses, while still winning the laughs he needs to.
So, good luck to you, 80 for Brady. You are lukewarm drivel. And yet, you’re affectionate, ever so slightly funny and your heart looks to be in the right place. Some days, that’ll do.
80 for Brady will begin screening in select cinemas nationwide on April 27.
