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Valentine’s Date Night Ideas For True Alphas

Valentine’s Date Night Ideas For True Alphas
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If you’re an alpha male, you may be wondering how to sweep your woman off her feet without appearing soft and feminine. Here’s how to dominate your Valentine’s Day without turning into a simping beta.

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Watch ‘Chicago Med’ With Mom

Watch ‘Chicago Med’ With Mom

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Mom’s the only girl a true alpha ever needs.

Spending 30 Minutes Outside The Cage

Spending 30 Minutes Outside The Cage

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On such a special occasion, a true alpha will let his date walk around in the backyard for a few minutes to relieve herself.

Not Cumming No Matter How Hard Your Date Tries To Make You

Not Cumming No Matter How Hard Your Date Tries To Make You

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Let her sap you of your vital masculine energy? Not a fucking chance.

Debate Her

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What woman wouldn’t be delighted to spend the night gazing into her man’s eyes and discussing whether women should be allowed to hold pilot’s licenses?

Explaining To Her Dad Why A 16-Year-Old Was Hanging Out Drinking Beer In Your Garage

Explaining To Her Dad Why A 16-Year-Old Was Hanging Out Drinking Beer In Your Garage

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The best Valentine’s dates are often spent reviewing the state’s lax consent laws.

Take XtraHRD Naturel Male Enhancement

Take XtraHRD Naturel Male Enhancement

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Wow, you mister alpha, aren’t you, yeah? WOnaly 4,99₽ for naturel hard ingredents PAYPAL ONLY CLICK HERE FOR MORE

Go Onto Tinder And Answer Everything She Says With ‘Uh-Huh, Sure’ As You Scroll Through Other Options

Go Onto Tinder And Answer Everything She Says With ‘Uh-Huh, Sure’ As You Scroll Through Other Options

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Don’t let her see your phone screen, obviously.

Be Alone With No Love In Your Life

Be Alone With No Love In Your Life

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True alphas don’t need women, friends, or meaning in their lives.

Offer Date A Ride Home From Dinner In The Tractor Wheel You Pushed To Restaurant

Offer Date A Ride Home From Dinner In The Tractor Wheel You Pushed To Restaurant

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The added weight will only make you stronger.

Don’t Take Your Antipsychotic Medication And See What Happens

Don’t Take Your Antipsychotic Medication And See What Happens

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Women love when alphas are spontaneous.

Let Her Watch You Play Fortnite

Let Her Watch You Play Fortnite

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As long as she promises to sit still and not ask any questions.

Poke A Heart-Shaped Hole In Your Condom

Poke A Heart-Shaped Hole In Your Condom

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DIY projects can be far more meaningful than just some dumb flowers you went and bought from the store.

Threaten To Kill Yourself If Your Date Ever Leaves You

Threaten To Kill Yourself If Your Date Ever Leaves You

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The alpha is back in the driver’s seat this Valentine’s Day.

Watch The Sunset Together

Watch The Sunset Together

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A classic, romantic date that also gives you the opportunity to explain how the earth is flat.

Googling ‘Where Is Vagina’ 10 Seconds Before Your Date Shows Up

Googling ‘Where Is Vagina’ 10 Seconds Before Your Date Shows Up

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Also romantic to do it while you’ve locked yourself in the bathroom as she lies naked on your bed.

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Candlelit Joe Rogan Podcast

Candlelit Joe Rogan Podcast

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She’ll swoon when she walks through the door and sees her favorite episode is already pulled up on your laptop.

Defeat Your Baby In Hand-To-Hand Battle

Defeat Your Baby In Hand-To-Hand Battle

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That child has been questioning your manliness ever since it arrived from between her legs.

Drunkenly Showing Up Outside Her House With A Gun 6 Months After You Broke Up

Drunkenly Showing Up Outside Her House With A Gun 6 Months After You Broke Up

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Ladies love a big romantic gesture!

Ripping Off Head Of Girlfriend’s Teddy Bear With Bare Hands

Ripping Off Head Of Girlfriend’s Teddy Bear With Bare Hands

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No woman can resist such a demonstrable feat of strength.

Say Stuff Along The Lines Of ‘Like Heat Lightning Flashing Across The Rain-Parched Mojave, A Harbinger Of A Most Tempestuous Storm To Come, My Manhood Has Appeared And Is Prepared For Intercourse’

Say Stuff Along The Lines Of ‘Like Heat Lightning Flashing Across The Rain-Parched Mojave, A Harbinger Of A Most Tempestuous Storm To Come, My Manhood Has Appeared And Is Prepared For Intercourse’

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Women like stuff like that.

Surprise Her With A Homemade Creatine Shake

Surprise Her With A Homemade Creatine Shake

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She’ll be so impressed you made it all by yourself.

Get Performance-Anxiety-Induced Erectile Dysfunction And Have Your Date Not Respond To Your Desperate Texts The Next Morning

Get Performance-Anxiety-Induced Erectile Dysfunction And Have Your Date Not Respond To Your Desperate Texts The Next Morning

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Page ripped right out of the alpha’s playbook.

Go Through Each Other’s Phones

Go Through Each Other’s Phones

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She’ll only object if she has something to hide.

Let Her Play As Sonic In ‘Sonic Adventure 2’

Let Her Play As Sonic In ‘Sonic Adventure 2’

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You’re always Sonic. You’re man enough to be Shadow this time.

Sit On Her Back And Make Her Do Push-Ups

Sit On Her Back And Make Her Do Push-Ups

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Explain The Plot Of ‘The Killer’ To Her

Explain The Plot Of ‘The Killer’ To Her

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Giving her a complete, scene-by-scene 90-minute synopsis of David Fincher’s latest thriller and pausing every few minutes to ask, “Do you have any questions about what I’ve said so far?” is way better than sitting down and watching it. And it’s also a total alpha move.

Offer To Pay For Date’s HGH

Offer To Pay For Date’s HGH

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Traditional gender roles are important to alphas.

Slather Your Date In Garlic Butter And Place Her Underneath The Broiler Until Golden Brown

Slather Your Date In Garlic Butter And Place Her Underneath The Broiler Until Golden Brown

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She should make a great appetizer for you and your loaf of bread.

Take A Shower

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The mix of raw meat and DMT you’ve been ingesting for the past month is emanating from your pores.

Make Her Watch You Try To Dunk

Make Her Watch You Try To Dunk

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She’ll love watching you sprint at the basketball hoop and slam into the pole multiple times until your head bleeds.

Patch Up The Hole You Punched In Her Drywall

Patch Up The Hole You Punched In Her Drywall

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It’s basically crafting.

Get It Pregnant

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Whatever it is, do not waste a drop of seed.

Tell Her What A Cunt She Is

Tell Her What A Cunt She Is

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Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to express what a goddamn bitch she is every single day.

You’ve Made It This Far…

You’ve Made It This Far…



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