Politixia
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White House aide Natalie Harp is drawing scrutiny from many political observers. The Onion shares everything you need to know about Harp and her background.
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Education: Liberty University School of Blond Woman Business
Job Title: Senior Girl to the President
Qualifications: Made a nice diorama of the Oval Office
Your Estranged Aunt’s Opinion Of Her: “She must be President Trump’s guardian angel. Look at her last name: Harp. That’s no coincidence.”
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Special Skills: Fawning, kowtowing, exalting
Greatest Strength: Doesn’t take up too much space in catering container
Dream Name: Natalie Trump
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Access to Nuclear Codes: Fuck, probably
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