What To Know About Starbase, Louisiana

SpaceX recently unveiled plans to construct a $100 billion spaceport in Louisiana, which CEO Elon Musk has said will be “the biggest launch site on Earth.” The Onion shares everything you need to know about the facility.

Q: Why Louisiana?

A: To give locals the no-brainer choice between living in Louisiana and dying in space.

Q: How will the facility benefit the state?

A: By creating jobs for the thousands of unemployed scientists and engineers living in the Pecan Island marsh.

Q: Why is Elon Musk so obsessed with space?

A: All of his kids live on Earth.

Q: What is the best way to land a job there?

A: Keep replying “lol” to Elon Musk’s posts on X, and he’ll eventually find a role for you.

Q: Is it “crayfish” or “crawdad”?

A: Doesn’t matter. They will soon be extinct.