Video Game Prologue Still Going

CONCORD, MA—As he expressed alarm at still not having reached the title’s open world, local gamer Rudy Kelleher confirmed Tuesday that the prologue of his recently purchased video game was still going. “Christ, it’s been an hour and a half since I booted this thing up, and I’m still wandering around some cave while a king’s ghost offers exposition about the realm’s ongoing civil war,” said Kelleher, adding that the most intense gameplay he’d experienced in the midst of the prologue’s seemingly endless cutscenes had been a brief platforming section in which he was asked to press the A button to jump up a series of rocks. “This game supposedly has a super deep crafting system and all sorts of factional alignments to explore, but so far I’m just getting lore dumps about something called the Sacred Everchalice. I haven’t even gotten the weird necklace thing the main character’s wearing in all the promotional art, and I’m pretty sure that’s the basis of the entire combat system. There’s no button to skip any of this, either. Guess I might as well run some errands and hope I’m at some sort of sidekick character creation screen by the time I get back.” At press time, a power failure reportedly led Kelleher to discover that the several hours of prologue he had completed had not con-
tained a single autosave.

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