Creatively Tapped-Out Peter Thiel Launches Startup Called ‘Frodo, But Evil’

BUENOS AIRES—After exhausting a significant amount of his intellectual energy in a series of company launches, a creatively tapped-out Peter Thiel announced Tuesday a new startup called “Frodo, But Evil.” Everyone knows Frodo’s the hero of Lord Of The Rings, but he’s not in this case, which—I mean, evil is a form of innovation, right?” said a visibly weary Thiel, adding that he hadn’t yet decided what service the company would provide but had circled words such as “dog taser,” “mind control at scale,” and “poison” on a legal pad. “I tried using Gandalf and Samwise, but they didn’t quite work. It had to be Frodo. And believe me, Frodo, But Evil is going to do a lot of damage to the things we shouldn’t like. That much I am absolutely sure of. Because, like I said, it’s the opposite of Frodo. So there it is.” At press time, Frodo, But Evil had reportedly secured a $10 billion contract with the U.S. Defense Department.

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