Politixia
NEW YORK—Her eyes widening with horror as she took in the sight of the wrinkled hoodies and an upside-down electric keyboard strewn across the foyer, pop star Taylor Swift reportedly returned from her honeymoon Friday to find producer Jack Antonoff squatting in her Tribeca penthouse. “Oh, hey, it’s chill if I crash here for a while, right?” said the 42-year-old Antonoff, whom Swift walked in on as he stood pantsless in the pitch dark of her kitchen, digging through the fridge and wearing a pair of her own slippers. “I put my drums in your room, but I can totally move them if you want. You’re the best. This is gonna be so fun. Oh, and you’re out of toothpaste. Hi, Travis.” At press time, Swift had reportedly changed all the locks after dropping Antonoff off at Lorde’s.
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