U.S. Mint Unveils Series Of Gold Coins Commemorating President’s Extramarital Affairs

WASHINGTON—Touting the new line of currency as an important way to recognize the many babes bagged by the commander-in-chief over the years, the U.S. Mint announced plans Wednesday to release a series of gold coins commemorating President Donald Trump’s extramarital affairs. “These coins will allow Americans to celebrate their nation’s semiquincentennial by collecting 50 of Trump’s sidepieces throughout history,” said U.S. Mint director Paul Hollis, adding that the line of tokens would feature the president on the front and a portrait of the model or porn star with whom Trump cheated on the back. “While there has been disagreement over whether to depict a president’s paramours while they’re still alive, we felt it was important for America’s 250th to immortalize Trump’s sexual conquests for posterity. The president’s rating of the intercourse, from 1 to 10, is engraved on each coin so collectors can organize them from least to most satisfying.” Hollis went on to state that the U.S. Mint was in the planning stages of an additional line in remembrance of affairs that specifically took place on the island of Little St. James.

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