What To Know About ‘Spider-Man: Brand New Day’

Spider-Man: Brand New Day opens in theaters this weekend. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the new film.

Q: What’s the premise?

A: The “premise”? Easy there, college boy. It’s a Spider-Man movie. You can leave your notebook at home.

Q: Which comic book is it based on?

A: The Spectacular Tom Holland #4.

Q: Will Spider-Man have any new powers?

A: In this one, he becomes forklift-certified.

Q: How does Brand New Day compare to other Spider-Man movies?

A: The main difference is this one comes out now, while the others came out in different years.

Q: Do Tom Holland and Zendaya kiss?

A: No, because they weren’t yet married when the movie was shot.

Q: Is there a post-credits scene?

A: After two and a half hours, there better not be.