Pros And Cons Of Wearing Shorts In The Office

Whether shorts are office-appropriate attire has ignited an online debate. The Onion examines the pros and cons of wearing shorts in the office.

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PRO

New scapegoat for bad quarter

Good to have full range of movement while sitting stationary for eight hours

A well-aired cog is a productive cog

Ready to attend barbecue at a moment’s notice

Makes it easy to keep track of who won’t be promoted 

You only have one pair of pants

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CON

Wedding vows specifically promised ankles for spouse’s enjoyment only

May encourage slacking, if not outright lollygagging

Exposes vulnerable back of knee to attacks

Death knell for formal kilts

Casual atmosphere immediately triggers all-staff fuckfest

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You still work in marketing