Literally Just 33 Really, Really Funny Posts From This Week

Soo, I’ve been really getting into Threads lately, and I thought I’d share the love by rounding up a few of my favorites from this week:

1. “Hey JD!”

2. “Donald Trump revealing that Donald Trump allowed election meddling to help Donald Trump.”

Announcement

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3. “Does all this smoke mean they’ve picked a new Mitch McConnell?”

4. “Taco Bell accidentally became Law & Order: Special Lettuce Unit.”

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5. “We legit… are microdosing Armageddon.”

6. “Joe Biden should just post a photo of himself sitting on a couch eating ice-cream and tag jd vance.”

7. “Dang, sounds like whoever was in charge of things in 2020 was an idiot.”

8.

9. “Can’t they just get their testosterone tested at Claire’s?”

10. “It has been so long since anyone has had a 20-minute conversation with Mitch McConnell.”

11. “In United States, you don’t toss your salad; your salad tosses you.”

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12. “JD Vance running into Joe Biden at Baskin Robbins:”

13. “Trump brings up the 2020 election more than a millennial brings up MySpace.”

14. “Millennials gather round….they’re attempting to bring back the poncho. Yes. The poncho. 👀 “

15. “buccal fat removal, lower/upper blephs, light cheek filler, 49 units of botox on the forehead.”

16. “The people who stocked up on toilet paper in 2020 watching this explosive diarrhea outbreak play out.”

17. “Chicken Caesar salad wrap, if you’re reading this:I miss you, baby.”

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18. “‘Ten ways lettuce diarrhea made me a better leader.’ Probably someone on LinkedIn.”

19. “fresh produce looking at processed foods in the grocery stores rn.”

20. “Flu shots… of testosterone.”

21. “I got my military testosterone booster at Claire’s.”

22. “MILLENNIALS, GET OVER HERE. They calling stuff from our childhood ‘antique’ 🥲”

23. “Watching someone eat lettuce in 2026 is like hearing someone cough in 2020.”

24. “My dog doesn’t understand air quality and I’m so worried she just thinks we are assholes who won’t walk her.”

25. “Today in New York I had to avoid heat stroke, parasite, diarrhea, and smoke from wildfires in Canada. How was your day?”

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26. “Maybe the real Baja Blast was the explosive diarrhea we made along the way.”

27. “the very hungry caterpillar is definitely gonna get cyclosporiasis :(“

28. “Cyclospora? You mean the Greek Goddess of Diarrhea?”

29. “I’ve never seen a family get out of a cybertruck. It’s always just some guy.”

30. “They were called Lean Pockets and they tasted like Hot Pockets and they were still bad as shit for you but they had the word “lean” in their name, which made them healthy at the time.”

31. “The transition from ‘Knicks in Five, World Cup Summer Vibes’ to ‘Diarrhea Parasite, Hazardous Air, Stay Inside and Don’t Eat Greens’ hits hard.”

32. “babe, you okay? you’ve barely touched your apocalyptic wildfire smoke poop lettuce.”

33. And lastly, “You know what isn’t causing parasitic diarrhea?A can of Diet Coke.”

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