Trump Baselessly Claims He Is Viral 40-Pound Tabby Cat Named Daddy Cinnamon

WASHINGTON—Promoting the unfounded assertion in an effort to improve his polling, President Donald Trump baselessly claimed during a White House press conference Monday that he was a viral 40-pound tabby cat named “Daddy Cinnamon.” “Yes, that’s right, folks—I’m the adorable, adorable fluffy furball who has been crawling all over your social media feeds,” the commander-in-chief said before licking the back of his hand and letting out a playful mew. “I’m a big, big cat, and I need a tasty treat. Daddy Cinnamon wants all the kibble. The Democrats don’t want you to see me play with a feather, but I have millions of Instagram followers who do. If you want to purchase a mesh tank top with my face on it, you can visit my official merch store at daddycinnamon.biz.” According to reports, the president’s remarks ended abruptly when he began chasing a laser pointer around the press briefing room.

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