Beartooth’s Caleb Shlomo on the ‘Difficult’ Moment He Came Out as Gay to His Wife

Caleb Shlomo reflected on the “really difficult” moment he came out as gay to his wife of 14 years.

During the Wednesday, June 10 episode of the Disrespectfully podcast with Vanderpump Rules stars Katie Maloney and Dayna Kathan, the Beartooth frontman spoke about being open about his sexuality with his wife Fleur Shlomo.

“I was just bawling my f—ing eyes out, trying so hard to verbalize,” Caleb, 33, said. “And I really struggle to verbalize things, and this is obviously such an intense thing, and I’m feeling so nervous and so scared in the situation that it was really, really difficult to verbalize, and I didn’t verbalize it very well.”

He then revealed that he kept his sexuality “at bay” for a long time and had a “really difficult” conversation with his wife, where he said, “The way that, like, I feel about girls, I feel about guys.”

“There’s something there that I’ve been running from for a long f—ing time. And I don’t think I want to run anymore,” Caleb recalled telling Fleur.

After that, he said, “the f—ing hinges got ripped out.”

Caleb said that being open about his sexuality helped him to “stop hating myself so much,” and he “immediately” went to therapy. He noted that therapy also treated his “severe ADHD.”

The “I Was Alive” artist said “therapy, exercise, eating good, sunshine, good sleep and being creative” helped him come to terms with being gay.

Caleb said that his “ultimate goal” is to love himself and help others do the same, though he admitted he has a “long f—ing road” ahead and still has to “forgive himself.”

“I feel like I’m on the path,” he added. “I’m letting this happen. I’m not trying to rush anything. I’m not trying to force anything. It’s just one step at a time.”

On May 23, Caleb came out as a “proudly gay man” in a lengthy Instagram statement.

“This is something I’ve been unpacking and reckoning with in my life for quite some time now,” he wrote at the time. “It’s been difficult to navigate the feelings surrounding the subject and figure out what to do with this fact.”

In the post, Caleb said he didn’t allow himself to “really dig up the roots” of his “depression, self-hatred, self-loathing and hopelessness” for a long time and “spent a decade burying feelings with alcohol.”

“Honestly, when I decided to put it down and focus on exploring why I felt this way for so long, it’s been a direct path to me reconciling with my sexuality in hopes that it will eventually lead me to experiencing self-love,” he continued.

Hours after Caleb shared his emotional message, his wife reflected on the “very disorienting and hurtful time” they had both been navigating in recent months. 

“I will always want to love, protect and support Caleb,” she wrote on Instagram with a video of them dancing. “I have cared more about his well-being over the years than anything else in the world.”

Added Fleur: “To see the confusion and pain he went through and the highs and lows and wanting to help but now knowing how. You never want anything more for your person than for them to just be okay.”

She further spoke about the “duality of this situation,” which has caused a constant battle of whether she is a “bad person for wondering wtf this means for your world & the anger you also feel.”

Fleur emphasized that she will always support Caleb and cherish the years they spent together, but confirmed that their marriage had ended.

“Our nearly 14 years of marriage was wonderful and full of so much fun, adventure & love,” she wrote. “Nobody will know anything about our marriage like we do.”

Fleur added, “And no one can ever truly know what depths of love exist between two people unless they are those people. I already miss it & my husband more than anything. Our story was a good one. And now it is done.”